And we wait......... :)

It’s the chill in the weather that makes me write,

It is the morning dew that makes me smile,

 A long walk with a loved one is what I want

A cup of hot coffee to stir my soul

It is that time of the year again

Year after year the surprises again

How I wish to play in the snow

How I wish to be a child again

With a hope in my heart I await

The guardian angel to bless me again

With a few more days for another year

I wait in anticipation in my heart

A smile on my face and hope in my heart

With courage in my mind and prayer on my lips!!!

Clear the Cobwebs!!

Oh yes!! This post is all about clearing the cobwebs and moving on; which brings me to the thought of those poor hard- working spiders. I remember the time when I used to actually watch these species make their webs till my mother darling would come with a broom! One Swash! And there it was gone with a clear tone admonishing me for merely staring at them! “You have to clear this and keep the house clean”. Oh well, all the hard work down the drains!! Believe it or not, I used to actually feel bad for these eight legged species whose dedicated work was turned into nothing within a span of few minutes!!

Years passed, and so did a lot many these incidents which today play no significant role in my memory. But today I write this with a very different thought. I couldn’t help but wonder that just as we clear the cobwebs in our houses, isn’t it important to clear the cobwebs of our mind??!!

I know this sounds like a very random thought – and I admit it to be so. It so happens that certain incidents at certain times do make me go paranoid…and am sure it happens to most of us. We are so consumed by a typical line of thought/ behavior/ expectation/ action that anything that may not fall in-tune with our thinking tends to affect us. I was sitting and deeply contemplating on the “hows” and the “whys” and the “only-ifs”; needless to say with no definite answers. No amount of small talk was helping and I was at a total loss. It was then the miraculous spider-web came into my mind!!

Just as we know that its important to clear the cobwebs of our homes, isn’t it equally (if not more) important to clear the ones in our mind?? Whoever said “Our mind is a great slave but a horrible master” could not be more right. We need to clear our minds from those very happening and typical negative thoughts so that we are able to focus on the present and accept each day (with or without a smile!!). Rest assured that as we move on, there will be plenty of spiders and cobwebs. Please clear them but see that you don’t hurt the spiders!! Live and let live!

A little more freedom!!

Disclaimer: Before you begin reading this, rest assured that by no means is the writer a poet!! Just musings of a wandering mind!!




As I stand and watch the world move by,

I cannot help but wonder where am I.

A question lingers somewhere deep inside,

Do I know where I am going or what I am passing by?

With this mundane thought, I started to write,

A small little poem, to soothe my dazzled mind.

With my heart so hazy but yet determined,

I cannot help but wonder what the future holds.

A little more freedom is what I crave,

A little more assurance is what I seek,

I wish I had wings to fly..............

So that I may fulfill my heart's desire!!!

Me and my world of books!!!

It’s the 15th of August and though ideally, I would have written something for my country land, that is not what this post is about. I feel it’s about time I write something about my exceptional love for books. I have always been fascinated with the world of books and was introduced to reading at a very early age. I remember making strong efforts to read Amar Chitra Katha and Tinkle when I was just 6 yrs old. I would pester my mom to read out stories from these books and while she was too busy, read it by myself, underlying words I didn’t understand. Mom was super supportive, not to mention very patient with my million doubts!!! To make life easier for me, my dad introduced me to the dictionary. Within a few years I moved on to Enid Blyton, Famous Five and then there was Sweet Valley, Nancy Drew, Hardy Boys and lot many others which was classified under the ‘Classics’ section of my school library. I cannot but help laughing at the bizarre things I have done just to read a book; to reading from a torch light late into the night to avoid my mother’s wrath to using my journal as a cover to finish yet another interesting read right in middle of the physics class!! Now I know why my physics went down the drain!!

I love the fact that books could so easily transport me to a different unreal world; it would just allow my imagination to go wild and so effortlessly make me smile. Even today, I love the smell of books, especially old ones when they haven’t been touched for years. And I had found a few such books in one of my trips to Kerala. I was in my paternal grandparents place at Allepy enjoying every moment running around the white soft sand, playing mindless games with all my cousins!! To my utter bewilderment, I discovered a huge rectangular trunk which had a lot of old stuffs, things I could not comprehend. But what amazed me was; I found 2 copies of Reader’s Digest printed in the year 1982 and 1989. It belonged to my grandfather, a voracious reader himself. That was how, while still in school my annual subscription to RD started!! And over the years, many more subscriptions for other magazines followed.

Over the period of time, my vacations would be incomplete without a few books. They just became a part of me, like a limb attached to my body. I can even today not describe the euphoric feeling of reading a much awaited novel; be it tragedy, romance, classic, mystery, drama, management books, or anything else under the sun. Am one of those kinds, who not only love reading but love collecting books as well. If nothing I am sure, I will pass on a legacy of books to my grand children, just like how my grandfather did!!!

As am typing this, in my bedroom, I can see the rain drizzling down and all I wish to do is cuddle up with a hot cup of coffee, some chips and a nice book to read!! My greatest fantasy is to own a small house, with a small little library of my collection of books! In fact I have already made a list of my favourite ones :P :P Weird though it may sound to lot of people, it is one of those things in life that immediately puts a smile on my face or in some cases even tears!! Either of which I don't mind!! :) :) :)

Life and Expectations!!

It is one of those moments for me....where I feel a funny feel and I don’t know why I feel the way I do!!? It suddenly seems like am looking at life from a 3rd person's perspective - where nothing seems to affect me but nevertheless, I am happy and content with all that life is offering at this moment :)
It so happened that I have been playing the role of "agony aunt" to a couple of my very dear friends and somehow coming up with innovative, cheerful, sensible answers to their 'why-me' questions. And it struck me that (this may not be a revelation to many) that most of our problems are primarily due to : High Expectation. For some reasons, the heart is never satisfied with what it gets......there is an unquenchable desire for more......it is this desire that leads to unhappiness.

Why is it so difficult to do your best and then let-go? Why can’t one just love all that one does unconditionally....Imagine having "minimum expectations" from all those around you.....half of the world's problems would have been resolved.

Though I really wish to be fair here - I do know that it is not easy. And I also admit that it is easier said than done. But it is POSSIBLE – that’s the magic word. If we continue living our lives to the fullest enjoying every moment, not thinking whether it will last, and what if it doesn't etc.....just LIVE!!! It is simple.....Acts of kindness I would call it. Just be kind to the world, and the goodness will return to you :) And, yes, don’t expect much - then you will be super happy with whatever life offers you!!

I call this 'Minimum Expectations Theory'. It works for me! And I would rate this higher than Stephen Robbins any day (that fat, huge OB book)!!. I wonder if my O.B Prof would agree :P

A rainy story!!

Rebecca looked around terrified at the prospect of being lost in this strange city. Bombay as she prefers calling Mumbai was a new place to her but she felt that this city had absorbed her in its unique fashion. She was here with a purpose, her sole aim was to do well in her studies. And little did she know that she will have to face unexpected showers, derailment of her usual local trains and further troubles as she awaited the bus that will take her to her destination.

Her only relative in this city, her uncle asked her to come to his office. "Just take a bus and come to lower parel" he had said 10 mins ago when she called him. Her dear friend and companion, Avantika had not come to class today so she was left feeling further confused and helpless. Around her, people were briskly walking, some running to get into whatever bus they could since the trains had stopped working. Nobody paid any attention to her as she looked around to ask someone the bus she could get into. "When alone, in an unknown place never trust strangers", her mother's warning, rang loud and clear in her head. "But, if I don’t do that, I will never reach this place". Her uncle, a distant relative seemed oblivious to her predicament as he rushed off for an important meeting at his work. She did ask a lady and got into a bus, silently thanking Jesus as she found place to sit in the over crowded bus.

As, it passed the by lanes of Mumbai, Rebecca looked around with wonder. It was still pouring, she did not have an umbrella and the place seemed so strange. "Isn’t it the kind of place, a girl could get raped?" she thought and quickly admonished herself for her unintelligent thoughts. The roads were deserted which added to her nervousness.

Suddenly, she realised that the bus was slow. The driver and few other people got down and there was a huge discussion. Though she could follow Hindi, Marathi was still an alien language to her. A little probing revealed that the driver had taken another route as the usual road was clogged with water and now the bus has stopped. “Engine failure beta, we will have to get down here”, a kind woman (and the only one in the bus) told her. Her watch showed 10pm – not late by Bombay standards but definitely a reason to worry if you don’t know where you are and how to reach your destination!

Still praying and thinking of her mother she got down with the crowd. Rebecca stood there for a few minutes wondering which part of the earth was she in at the moment. The lady who spoke to her was now walking ahead with a little girl and an old man. They seem like Muslims, she thought seeing their attire. “Trust your gut instinct, go ask them for help” her heart told her and she obliged. Running towards them, she explained her story to the family and asked them for directions. The man has kind eyes, she noticed. He reminded her of her grandfather. “You should not be out so late in this city beta, come with us. We will take a cab. Do you have the address of the place you want to go?” he asked Rebecca. As she replied in the affirmative, he hailed a cab and all of them got in. “Bombay can be a dangerous city, we will get down here but you don’t worry child. I will note down this taxi no. Give me your cell no too –just in case I want to make sure that you reached safely. And don’t pay the driver, I have taken care of that”. After giving instructions to the driver ,the family who were Rebecca’s angels, got down wishing her a safe journey. She did reach her uncle’s office safely but was surprised when the “kind man” called her to ask her if she has reached. And as she profusely thanked him for his help, he replied “You reminded me of my elder daughter beta, apna khayal rakhna. Khudha aafis!” She never heard from him since that day.

As she wiped the tears from her eyes, this single incident re confirmed her belief in all faiths, in humanity and mankind. Bombay she told herself, is a city with a kind heart...............

Technology & Connectivity: related??!!

I don’t know what to write, er.....I mean type. Thank god for technology. I should send a personalised letter to the person who invented Science, or rather who invented Computers, or maybe just thank Microsoft for Vista- not by letter, by mail. And that is the point!! I really need to thank these genius brains because initially I had to write long stories in a notebook, keep it away from the peering eyes of my brother and also tear some pages if they do not make sense after a few years, which I must admit was a difficult task. And today? Well, thanks B Gates. Now all I need to do is type what I want in my laptop and then save it. Control S is a superb function. And to protect it from unwanted elements, all I need to do is keep a password. So there my baby is all saved and protected and nobody but I, can have access to it. And if I really don’t want to keep it with myself, I just need to click on the Delete button. Life at our fingertips!! Can it get easier than this?

We are so dependent on technology today that it has become very difficult to imagine life without it. How on earth can we survive without emails, gmails, google, blogspot, youtube, Linkedin, Yahoo?? Not to mention our very own networking sites such as Facebook and Orkut. Need I even say anything on all the computer games people are addicted to? On the bright side, we stay connected with our loved ones all thanks to these facilities. But talking about connections, how connected are we with ourselves?? Isn’t there something deep within each one of us, our inner voice with whom we seem to have no connection?? How can we connect with ourselves, when 24 hours seems so little a time to do all that we have always wanted to?

Our days run by like haze, but what is it that we actually do? When was the last time we asked ourselves whether we are truly happy? After all, being busy does not necessarily qualify as being happy and content with our lives. At some level, each one of us are in pursuit of just one thing –happiness (just like the name of the movie). However, isn’t it true that we pursue so many things that we find everything but what we need to!!

I don’t have any brilliant suggestions either, after all I too am a part of this rat-race. A race where you are yet to see the finishing line.........

Now What??!!!

The most dreaded word is heard often at my place these days. Families make a mention of it. Family friends are even more keen to know when will it be? Close friends offer me their peaceful ears and strong shoulders so that I can vent out my frustrations.

It all boils down to the "M" word- Marriage. Not that I am that "old". Though ideally when a girl crosses a particular age, parents do find justifiable reasons to worry. I just feel that am too young for my parents to even think about it. Not that my dad (who considers himself coolest dad on earth) is worried. It is my mom, like all other mothers in general who gets super-paranoid wondering what will happen to her darling daughter!! Long conversations with a lot of my girl friends have proven the fact that it is the same story in almost all houses!! In any case, I am glad I have company.Added complications is the fact that I do not have any elder sisters to be married off so am free, in every sense to just go, find myself a man worth sharing the rest of my precious life with. Which brings me the important question- How do I choose a guy??

Well, the scenario is that there are many girls who have made “right choices” leaving the less fortunate ones like me dwindling our thumbs. The only other option is go the good-girl way!!Make full use of the fact that Indians follow a tradition of arranged marriages. Not that I can vouch for any of these marriages. Personal observations have guided me to believe that neither arranged nor does a love marriage necessarily end up with a happy-together. It is just that nothing in life is constant, people change and so does various situations and our reactions to it. So, choosing your life partner is by no means an easy task. Besides, marriages are a gamble- you will be lucky if yours is a successful one. Play by luck is the mantra followed. Age old characters such as Sita, Damayanti had it easier. All they had to do was garland any man who could prove himself capable!!

As I type this, I am wondering the significance of matching the horoscopes and “stars”. I come from an aristocratic, god-fearing family. But the purpose of matching the horoscope is a lost cause for me. I mean, how can you determine how compatible are you with someone purely based on the time your mother choose to go into labour and bring you to the world? It is a topic, I am still researching on. Meanwhile my parents can do their research. And I choose to go to my world and complete my education :)

Life @ its BEST!!

I have never in my life felt so well loved, my day passed by so quickly that I did not want it to end........ After all this wasn’t an end for me, just a new beginning. A beginning that I was awaiting for quite some time now. But some things come to you when you least expect it. And that’s exactly what happened with me. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that during my 2 yr stint with MBA- I will work for an NGO and that too full time for 15 days. An icing to the cake was that I was working with children. What more could I have asked for!! All good things in life come in small packages and these tiny tots are a testimony to this statement. I have wanted to work with children since a long time now.....to be precise since the day I visited an orphanage with my mother and her few friends.

It was somewhere in Andheri. I was in my junior college then. Children are so beautiful and captivating.......their innocence shines through in every action. I specifically remember the warm Sunday afternoon I visited this place. There were so many children there. They looked so happy and content that they spread this positive aura all around them. The orphanage was run by nuns. They took us to a room where there were only toddlers. A small baby girl, dusky complexion, beautiful, bright wide innocent eyes captured my attention. I kept staring at her crib and she smiled at me. There was this moment of mutual happiness which passed between us. My heart went upto her. She waved her tiny hands at me, indicating that I carry her. I did not. Even today this is one thing I haven’t forgiven myself for. I do not know why I did that. I wanted to take her home, raise her, play with her, teach her and bring her up as if she was my own- but I did none of these things. My heart melted, but my hands froze and all I could do in that moment of total helplessness was stare at her lovely face. Maybe I was afraid that I would not be able to put her back if I carried her in my arms.She was very attractive for a baby, would have grown up to be a attractive young woman some day. Her eyes even today haunt me. This was a few years back, I often wonder whether she goes to school, who her friends are, is she happy, has someone adopted her - just random thoughts.........

And so when after all these years, an opportunity came knocking for a social cause I believed in, I was more than thrilled. Dreamz home works for street children. The children were such an enthusiastic, high energy kids. Within half a day my group members and me were panting!! The kids, all 44 of them were all over us- hugging, cuddling, asking us to tell them stories, read out books to them, teach them dance and songs. Name it- and we have done that. There are a lot of things we learnt from these children. They are so innocent, their thoughts so vibrant, their souls so pure, their smiles so captivating. Words fail me today as I type this. Every action of theirs is enduring. Like they would not begin eating their food, till every child has got his lunch and after which they say a prayer - all 44 of them with joined hands and closed eyes. Even when there was a party, where there were lovely goodies to eat the kids were more concerned if my team members and me had eaten!! I don’t think I will see such lovely angels. These are one of a kind. The kind that knows that what hunger is- that’s precisely why they happily offer their food to everyone and then eat. The kind that has faced rejection- the reason why they crave for so much attention.

They would be in an age group between 3-15 years. We as grown up matured adults crave for attention and love. All of us want to be loved. Somewhere, deep within us, we are children afterall!!. Fate can be cruel sometimes, I see no other explanation when I spend time with my little angels. Angels of love, of hope, of promise. They reassure me that this world is not that bad as it seems. :)