Wedding planning tips!!

Pre-wedding period is often the most stressful for the family and especially the bride. It has been raining weddings and I was playing the agony-aunt cum am-always-there-for-you-friend cum advisor cum what-not to my best friend. Like any other would-be bride she was palpitating (and how) a few weeks before her engagement. It was then I wrote a long, and I mean a really L-O-N-G mail to her with the sole intention of helping her and making her smile. It worked! She was quite impressed and the post is a result of that. So here goes – for all you would-be-gorgeous-brides!!

 If you are from a middle class family, lived your life like any other independent, normal girl with a mind of her own AND are getting married in a metropolitan city, this post is for you!

 So here is how we go about it-

Part I: Decide on what kind of wedding do you want. Some options:

1.  Simple wedding, grand reception at different venues
2. Simple wedding (Only family and close friends) followed by an immediate reception at same venue (more people invited for the reception)
3. Wedding in the morn, reception in the evening
4. Run-of-the-mill wedding where you either go to the Himalayas, or the Registrar’s office or any other place and get married (then you may not find much of this post useful)

Expert Speaks: In my view, it’s cheaper to book a hall for an entire day than booking two different venues. Only exception is if it’s a temple/church wedding.

Please Note: The kind of wedding you chose is subject to various factors such as - Muhurat, decision of both families, hall availability, Pundits’ opinion etc. Oh yes, your opinion too but trust me amidst all the views, the best you can do is express your choice to one trust-worthy family member, stay away and watch the discussion unfold.

Part II: Usually, you will have a few dates and you have to pick out ONE day.

Points to consider while choosing the date:

1. You should not be chumming - forget religion, it’s just uncomfortable!
2. Make a list of the number of relatives. Please be practical. If you are low on budget, cut down few people from the guest-list. Considering family cannot be cut, it has to be not-so-close-friends and business contacts
3. You have the date, you have the number. Let your dad, uncle, brothers/ cousin go and check halls. You can go if you want to, but you will be needed for other things (which I shall list down below).

In case the male counterparts are confused on HOW do you chose a hall, kindly enlighten them with these tips:

1. Choose a venue closer to YOUR place since the bride always takes longer time to get ready and its best if you won’t have to travel long distance on your big-day! (Check if your would-be in-laws are ok with this)
2. Note down what options you have and have someone go or you and your better-half can check the shortlisted venues when you get the time.
3. Write down all costs including decorators, food, music etc
4. Compare and decide what suits your pockets and your sensibilities the best.

Part III: Mostly loved and at times dreaded word – Shopping! Here is what you have to do:

Check your cupboard thoroughly and list down the clothes you will take to your New-home. Trust me; you do not need everything new!

Expert Speak: Keep your clothes count considering the fact that you will be gifted clothes by friends and few relatives, your in-laws in all probability will keep some clothes for you. So don’t overdo your shopping!
Now comes the shopping bit. Once you have a list - you need to start shopping. So while the men can look at halls, you will be trying out clothes, checking sarees, and getting your trousseau ready. This will consume most of your weekends.

Expert Speak: Please make sure you don’t look the same for all the functions. Experiment between salwar suits, sarees, dresses or even a dhoti kurta! Look different and the BEST on your important day!

Part IV: The wedding card!

Expert Speak: You have cards ranging from Rs10/ per card to Rs 200/ per card in a city like Mumbai. Be very practical - no one keeps the card for another 10 years, not even 10 months. Choose a cheaper but good card that will make you smile when you see it!

Part V: Honeymoon location....easy tip?

Leave it to your better-half to figure out - trust me these grooms have nothing else to do!  ;)

Jokes apart, decide on the budget, and book your tickets - the earlier the better! Always, pack your honeymoon clothes and other bags separately so that you won’t have to reach your in-laws place and unpack!!

Part VI: Remember:

1. Cost cutting tips: Depending on you, you can cut either your shopping list, go for a simpler wardrobe, have a low-profile Mehandi and sangeet, cut guest list, and do whatever else comes to your mind!
2. YOU CANNOT impress everyone -please get it straight and accept it...the sooner you do, easier it will be. It’s a wedding, someone will complain, some will be sad, some happy....Let GO and enjoy yourself!
3. You are NOT getting married to impress anyone else, so if someone has an opinion on what you should wear/ have worn, what the groom should have done and didn’t do , where you should go for Honeymoon etc - SMILE and show them your middle finger! Everyone you meet will have opinions - the deal is to remain unruffled!!
4. There will be difference of opinion - both within the family and between both families, but then again that's what marriage teaches you - to compromise. No one person will have his/her way - there will be a newfound route which you shall discover and trust me you will look back, smile and feel silly thinking WHAT all went into it!
5. Mothers may be possessed during these periods. Kindly learn the art of subtle ignoring.
6. Fathers may also get possessed - stay CALM!
7. Siblings tend to be normal - phew! .
8. Pray when you wake up and before sleeping - it helps!
9. Happily outsource your work to all your girlfriends, sisters and your loved ones who will be happy to help.
10. MOST IMPORTANTLY – Believe in the love that you receive, cherish it and smile at all times!!